First day out - May 17

"Well folks, this has to be the worst start to a windsurf season, ever!
With no wind in sight?!! I think it is time for some extreme measures. In ancient societies when things went wrong, they would opt for the ever popular "HUMAN SACRIFICE". However now that we are more civilized , we know that this really won't work, nor would we even want to sacrifice a human. No, we have learned to be more precise in our methods. Since the problem is no windsurfing, we merely have to cast about for the last windsurfer purchased, and destroy it and the wind Gods are bound to be appeased. So it is with a heavy heart, but a hopeful heart that we request that either Denis and Heather or Hope and Blaine will offer up their new boards, that we all may sail again. I know that any of them will jump at the chance to aid us in our
quest for wind."
Ever Hopeful,
M

"Well I don't think we need to sacrifice Hope's new board because everyone knows that beginner boards always bring up too much wind so it will have to be Denis and Heather's."
B

Dear Depressed one:
"We would gladly offer up our little bundle of joy but it is still in its bundle under a pile of hockey/motocross equipment and car parts in my brother in laws garage. It's never yet seen the dim sun or cold air of alberta. In fact it has not been confirmed that it's actually in the box....however the box was sealed in the "land of never ending wind" so when we do open the box the forces of nature will no doubt be released on our cold nasty homeland. Like when a
butterfly's wings in Arizona causes a tornado in Kansas (confirmed in a double blind study in 1973 by Green Smokers of California). The puff of moist heated windy tropical air out of this box will cause a wind at Rattlesnake, likely only 5.5 wsw.....should flatten Toronto though. All good. As is custom when we do get the new package and open it, assuming there is a board in there (next weekend) we will sail it within 48 hours....so yee of little faith rig your 5.5 and be at the lake rigged 1:30 pm May 20th. This is a guarantee. Hang in there depressed one!"
H&D

"Well, we have heard some good arguments against the whole board sacrifice thing. So, I suggest that we opt for the time honoured method of creating wind. This was first introduced and practiced by D, but I think any and all of us can and should practice this . With no further delay, crack a beer, put your feet up and wait for wind. Remember every beer creates more wind.
Hops and Barley all round!!"
M

"Last night I danced around my back yard swinging an old one piece mast asking the chinese wind gods How-Ling and Ray-Jing for a soutwesterly flow... . Looks like it is around 30km/h out there right now... . The Whitla camera is down, but the others out there seem to be over 30... .
May the wind at your back not be your own..."
P

(...and it all worked to puff up for a 1st day out for M!"
J